Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Bridge

Hi, my name is Shantanu. I don't know my fathers name. If family is a word then for me family would be the owner of the grocery store I work at. The only thing this world has given me is a name, the other things I have got are things I never wanted.
The grocery store I work in is in the heart of the city. The city is a concrete jungle painted in grey. I have lived here all my life.Its scary during the nights, the grey becomes black and the shadows under the simmering road lights chase you.The thin lanes are home to everything which the human civilization has admonished.

I can see the city from window of the store. Every one here is in a rush, to reach their destination. They don't know why they have been doing this all their lives, but they don't have time to think about it. Every one is in a rush, to reach their destination.

My day starts when the dark sky turns into grey. The sun never rises. It is the sound of people rushing to their destinations that wakes me up. I dont know how they get up, maybe they hear other people, maybe they can see the sunrise somewhere...But in my world here there is no sunrise.

Talking about my work, the store I work in is not that big, but because it is in the heart of the city there is a lot of business.It is very monotonous, I remember the prices of all the things we sell, to the extent that , I can tell the cost of a chocolate biscuit in semi consciousness.

When I am not packing bags for customers or collecting money, I am dreaming. I am dreaming of walking on the bridge right across the road. People say that only losers walk on that bridge. That is why I have not told anyone about my desire of walking on this bridge. I have sat in the lane opposite the mouth of the bridge, trying to see what is at the end of it, but I couldn't. The bridge had something magnetic about it. It wasn't grey, and was surrounded by the blue of the ocean and the sky, an occasional white cloud added to the beauty of the bridge. This bridge was for losers and I was one of them, but something stopped me from going there.

There are days when the grey was grayer and the black was darker, but this day the bridge was more beautiful. The blue, white and blue was enticing but something was stopping me . I entered my grey world not knowing that today would be different.

A few men forced their way into the store. Their faces were covered with a black cloth, and they were armed. It looked like a heist. They would take away everything costly from the store, I thought. But they were looking for something else or maybe someone. Who could it be?..I asked myself hidden under the counter, trying to see through the glass below. Their footsteps rushed rapidly towards the counter. A hand went round my collar and pulled me over the counter. Their eyes rested on me for a moment, and after a quick acknowledge by one of them, I was thrown out of the store, through the glass panes.

I lay on the footpath, with blood gushing from my hand and head. My blood fell on the asphalt road and the red slowly mixed with the black. It made a path of its own on this road, the path was headed towards the bridge.
I smiled. I could see the sun rise from the other side of the bridge. I pulled myself up, the blood was gone, the wound was no longer there.I could see what was on the end of the bridge.

All my questions were answered as  I walked on the bridge

Footnotes:


Image courtesy: www.smashingapps.com


To vote for this post on Indivine click here
I have attempted to write an AllegoryAllegory is a figurative mode of representation conveying a meaning other than the literal.
I don't know how successful I have been in this attempt, so guys do let me know.  

12 comments:

Tavish Chadha(sensible-bakwas.com) said...

Ok here is what my tiny brain could figure out could be the representation...

1) Shantanu represents any other guy who is a dedicated employee, has dreams, wants to be different.

2) The bridge represents a path to our dream which seems stupid to most other people, but we know thats our dream.

3) The people with their races covered could be the people who just enter new at your work place and decide that ok this guy is weakling... has been here for too long and its high time we get rid of him

4) The wound refers to loosing what u have...

5) the red mixing with the black refers to the fact that he is now a part of the rest of the world and not a part of the elite world that he was till now...

6) The last part... now he has a chance to achieve what he truly desires...

phew!! That was one hell of an analysis nai? lol
I like the idea of an allegory... if I am rite here i shall def try it out... do let me know if i am rite fast, before i start thinking of the million other possibilities! :)

Cheers!
Tavish
Latest Blog post: Desperation

Anonymous said...

Hey nice story and the analysis of Tavish was good but left me confused.
Like I thought Shantanu dies and its his soul that walks on the bridge or maybe he is dreaming ?
Well written and the writing style was really very good!

But seriously nice try at allegory!!
Do let us know what you wanted to tell.
Regards.

Rakesh Vanamali said...

Very touching and very relieving at the same time..... touching coz of the suffering a poor kids been thru and relieving coz in the end, its over! Lucky guy!

I wanna walk that bridge too and soon!

Raj - Only name sake !! said...

I would only say your post made my day!!
wonderfully written!

hamaarethoughts.com said...

lovely.!!! piece of story..very touching..

Ankit said...

nice story buddy ,the climax was unexpected ..

Sandy said...

Here is what I got out of this marvellous piece of absolutely insightful writing (Two Thumbs Up)!
Shantanu is the heart within us, with it's own ambitions, bound to the mundane things which really isn't what he wants to do but is obliged to for survival's sake. The bridge represents his dreams and ambitions which he is afraid of pursuing because of what the society around him tells him. He is afraid of the 'What if..' of things to come. The intruders are the circumstances that presents itself after a point in time when he is pushed to re-look at his pursuits and obligations. It also represents how sometimes we need a good shaking up to realise what is important to us.
Alternately, the store where he works represents what he thinks is important. His work is important to him because it helps him survive. Perhaps the bridge is his personal family life which has been ignored (or because the boss has demanded so much time from him) and the bridge could also be his beloved. Once society throws him out, he feels lighter that now he doesn't have to give a hoot about the society and can go after whatever he has desired for so long.
Umm...more thoughts...
I think this piece is fabulously written. I love the thoughts it has triggered off in my mind. There are no right answers here except trying to guess what's on your mind...but I do so very well know that a good piece of writing moves you to think, to feel and to look within. This piece does that very well! Excellent!
Your teacher was right by the way!

Bikram said...

Lai this is not fair.. I wrote a comment and it got lost ...

ANyway what i wanted to say was That this is a FANTABULOUS read.. How do u do it .. I wish i can be 1% of as good.

Excellent Loved reading it ...

Mural! said...

I felt it to be a bit hazy.......but a pretty good attempt, especially this being your first time!

the bridge did feel like the way out of this world by the end of the narrative, but confused by the repeated use of loser for those who tread this path..........

sm said...

interesting story

Jon said...

There are people who walk on untrodden paths. Society label them loser...

We fear to walk on that bridge, simply because the future is uncertain...



So we convince ourselves that way we chose was the right one

Seema Syed said...

Nice story and well-written. I tried to analyze but i did fail. But Tavish's analysis is good. I would like to hear what was in your mind and your analysis of the story. Looking forward for it.