What If Blog-a-Ton 7

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 7; the seventh edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

“Good bye , have a good time!” 

Sameera’s husband bade goodbye before leaving for an official trip. Sameera stood at the door gazing at his car till it disappeared into the heavy traffic. It would be one of those long trips where all Sameera would have to do is to make food for herself, write her blog, and walk her dog in the evening.  

Sameera’s blog has been her latest passion, it was a good way to keep her busy and interact with people from all around the world . She booted her Sony Vaio and logged on to her blog. Her latest posts had a good number of comments and she spends some time replying to each and every one of them. After she was done, she was going through the updates of the blogs she followed. The Blog-a-ton blog had an update, the new topic had been selected and it was "What if". No two words would have had the same effect on her as these words. The two words asked her a question for which she would never ever have an answer; she decided to write about just that

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It was more than 20 years ago, when I was a young girl just out of college. I was born in a conservative family, where after education the only thing a girl can do is get married. I tried to break free from some of those customs and started working, but that did not last long and soon I was too be tied in to the wedlock with a boy selected for me by my parents, but this isn’t about the story about how I got married but about that one question which always leads to so many questions which I never have an answer for.

It was a few weeks just before my wedding; I carried the invitation cards to the office. I had decided that I would drop the cards at the desks of my colleagues so that I would have to avoid those repetitive and expected questions about the groom and many more. I was doing just that, dropping a card at the desk of my team members when I reached one special desk. It wasn’t just any desk, it took me a moment of conflict , but then I decided to leave the card at Karan’s table too

“Are you sure you are going to invite me for your wedding?” he asked

It came to me as a surprise because I didn’t realize he was standing behind me while I was resolving my conflicts. I couldn’t say a word and all I could do was give him a shy nod of the head.

“ So finally getting married huh!”

I nodded my head again and went ahead with the task of distributing the cards. When I returned to my desk having completed my ordeal, I found a mail waiting in my inbox. It was Karan

More than 60% of brides have second thoughts and around 10% of them end up calling off the wedding.Which category are you in?...are you really ready?

Karan 

And before I could gather my thoughts, I received another mail from him

BTW, I saw Runaway Bride last night. So if you think you are going to deny the fact that you are not nervous then you actually are nervous

Karan

His mail brought a smile on my face, but also made me realize, that  I was hurting him. He was in love with me for three years now, yes we knew each other during our college days too and today we worked together. His love had been unwavering and unconditional.  He was one of my better friends, no doubt about that, but I could never feel the way he felt for me.  At one point of time I felt guilty, guilty of being this block in his life. Had I not been his friend he would have moved on, but today he lives in hope. He hopes that one day I will fall in love with him, and I am guilty of keeping this hope alive.

He tapped his knuckles on my desk, I turned towards him.

“So, you will be attending the process party tomorrow? ”

“I don’t know Karan, today is the last day before I go on leave, I really want to come but there is something which is bothering me”

I stood silent, it takes a lot of courage to tell a person on his face that he is the cause of concern and I did not have that

“I hope it is not me you are worried about?” he asked

I froze for a moment; words seemed to escape me all this while

“I think I will take your silence as yes. And I know what you are worried about, don’t worry about, I will not ask you out in front of all those people or do anything stupid. In fact I never have”

“But on one condition”

“What?”

“I want you to wear the red dress I had gifted you”

“But why?”

“Please do that for me, I will not be able to explain it to you, please” he pleaded

I agreed to wear the dress. The dress was a red color satin with a black ribbon near the waist. It was elegant. I had seen something similar once when I had gone for shopping with Karan, so he took a cue and bought it for me. I never wore it, because Karan had that look in his eyes when he gifted the dress. The look of unwavering love, and I was scared.  I always asked myself why I never fell in love with Karan. He was someone I was very compatible with, he was someone who understood me very well, someone who always kept me happy. Maybe he loved me much more than I could handle.

I took a rickshaw to the hotel, and as expected Karan was already there waiting for me. He held my hand and escorted me in. He had made sure that he had a separate table reserved for the two of us.

“You are looking beautiful today. I knew you would look beautiful in this dress but I did not know you would look this beautiful”

I blushed.

“So how are you planning to run away from your wedding?” he asked

“Karan listen, I am not going to run away from my wedding. Why do you still hope for anything now? It will only hurt you!”

“You know I read somewhere that Hope is the only thing which gives and doesn’t take. Hope is the most beautiful thing in this world”

Just then my eyes met his, he was in a different world altogether and they pulled me in to his world. He slowly held my hand rose up; we walked towards the dance floor. For a few seconds our eyes parted, they met again at the dance floor. He held my palm with his hand .He slid his other hand on my back and pulled me towards him. I could feel his breath very close to mine. Our feet moved to the slow music in the background, but the music gradually faded away and all I knew was I was with Karan, the guy who loved me a lot and for the first time I felt something for him right when I was about to get married to someone. Suddenly Karan moved his hands away from my back and held my other hand. His eyes caught my attention, not for the first time this evening; there was madness in them. He kissed the top of my palm and took a deep breath in, absorbing each and everything this moment life had given him. He let my hand go, he wanted to say something and bend towards me. He gathered courage but only two words escaped his mouth

“What if….” He nodded his head wildly and left. 

Footnotes:

Image Courtesy: www.iwalkalone.org

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.